bad joke competition 5 mil to winner

[Ruggs]

Whats black and white and eats like a Horse-
A Zebra

what you call a Blind Dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesawus

What u call a blind Dino's Dog
Doyouthinkhesawus Rex

[kiscsavo]

its small red and round. What is it?

A big, blue ****ed up cube
----------------------------
Wife calls her husband at work
-Oh, darling, darling..my mother fell down the stairs, what should i do??
-Pork cutlet, with rice would be nice....

-----------
The angry pig is walking in the forest. Suddenly the good fairy jumps in front of him
-Hello, pig, i make one of your wish come true!
-Die, b*tch!

[Asmodeuseswife]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this."

[edam]

What can a jelly baby do that a man cant???? Come in 5 delicious flavours!!! (one for the ladies)

[Kosmiker]

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.

[edam]

[quote="Kosmiker";p="220586"]There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.[/quote]

Love it m8

this thread is awesome i would love to see vector drop a joke in here.

[Asmodeus]

Knock Knock ? Who,s there ? Dr ? Dr who

!!!!!........Dr who ........!!!!!

[Vansen]

Two molecules are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, “Wait, I think I dropped an electron.” The other looks at him and asks “Are you positive?”

[mightybean]

Vansen may I just say you are ripping up at the moment.

Here's my input:

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.

I bet a butcher fifty dollars that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he couldn't, the steaks were too high.

A man sent in ten entries to a newspaper's pun contest in the hopes that one would win. Sadly,
No pun in ten did...

[edam]

Why did the cow moo?   ?

Cause its a cow.

[edam]

How do you make a cat go woof?

cover it in petrol and throw a match

WOOF

Two biscuits walking down the road, one says to the other

"Where do you live?"

The which the other replies

"I'm not telling you, you'll nick my washing."




How do you make a dog drink?


Put one in a blender.

[edam]

right peeps get these joke s in by end of play friday as saturday is the voting day and the one with most votes wins  :D

[Asmodeus]

Is there going to be a winner in this....?

[Verminard]

Only winner will be bad taste mate

[Verminard]

An old man lived alone in Hereford. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Ben, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Ben:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Ben

At 4 a.m. the next morning, the local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Ben